My little sister reached out to me in July of 2017 and told me to just listen to this guy, Ryan Montbleau, and tell her it doesn’t sound like Shane. She said she had this one particular song on repeat for the last week. I am going to urge you all to go listen and tell me it’s not true. I emailed the artist the very next day and explained my situation…that my husband’s voice was sprinkled in his like the best seasoning you could ever add to a dish. He wrote me back, thanked me for reaching out and told me to let him know if the boys and I ever needed anything. He’s one of Tate and I’s favorites still!
Here is his website and the song she found. Just read these words:
Strangers I see
Only tell me you’re not ready
They say surely you got one or two miles you just can’t tell
But tell me
Of the people you’ve known
How many passed on were ready
How many heard the shot,
How many got a warning bell?
I will never know if Shane felt ready or felt a warning in his soul. I vividly remember working in the garden the very week before and talking about how he would go before me. He was mostly joking, but was he feeling something? My heart tells me maybe he was.
How do I know that his life still makes a difference? When people assure me that my boys are doing great. When I see a little Shane in their decisions…whether that is an ornery one or a great one. When I see the life we built in almost 15 married years and realize how much we experienced together. It’s really hard when you can’t talk to someone you are used to talking to any time you want to just see how they think things are going. I just wish that not only could I feel reassurance in the wreck of decisions that have come my way since losing him, but I so desperately want my boys to know their dad as I did. Someone with a heart of giving. Someone who spoke his mind in love and loved deeply. Someone who was loyal. Someone who wasn’t done making a difference and wanted to leave a mark for them to follow.
Well, last week, a sweet lady called from Life Share. Vicki has been with me for a while now. She knows that while some people don’t want/need to know every detail, I do. I have asked where every part of Shane has gone. She will read me a list any time I want to hear it. Everything from 2 adults regaining their sight, to multiple skin grafts for burn victims. She explained to me that not many tissue recipients reach out to donors, but that if we ever receive a letter she would let me know right away.
We got a letter. All we know is the man’s first name. I get it. He has no idea who we are, but had the tender compassion to reach out and help us heal. If I could write him back, this is how it would go.
We love you for letting us know Shane’s impact on your life. I am so proud to know that you are a life long athlete. I am raising three amazing athletes myself. Shane was an athlete and one of the best coaches I’ve ever seen. The kids loved him! He was tough, but they knew he loved them back. While we don’t know what college or professional team you were a part of, we are most excited that your spinal fusion was a success and that a little part of Shane can now assist you in continuing an active, healthy lifestyle.
I am most excited that you find a true blessing in now being able to play with your little granddaughter. She will never forget it! Shane was a baby magnet and we had just purchased our forever home and had many back porch chats about how our grandchildren would run and play on the land. He would teach them to fish and appreciate a beautiful sunrise and a sky full of stars. Please think of him if you get the chance to do these things with her.
May your family know how much your letter has helped us and will continue to impact the stories my boys will tell about their dad for the rest of their lives.
The Farley Family
If you had a warning, would you change anything? I have learned a lot in this process, but most of all that the power of our impact on those around us is priceless! Shane is still impacting others! Thank you, sweet Savior, for the gift of music, for the gift of this letter, and for having our back every day! Psalms 91:4
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