Thanks be!


He covers me with his feathers and under His wings we find refuge. Psalms 91:4

An opportunity to share comes along once in a while. Mostly just with my students or a friend who is hurting. Well, a year ago, my longtime friend Londa asked me to share at a women’s event at her church. I guess for a solid year I was picturing a fellowship hall with some donuts and maybe 50 ladies, 1/2 of whom I more than likely was related to or worked with.

Fast forward to a chilly Thursday evening in November, 320+ women, a lovely sanctuary filled with the most amazing fall décor that you would have thought Joanna Gaines had been there, a meal to share, games and door prizes, worship, and you will have a night that I won’t soon forget.

When you step on stage with that many faces staring back at you, you quickly realize you may just be better at the written word than the spoken. I could feel the prayers of my many friends who knew just how real I wanted to be. The devil had tried to convince me a few weeks before that I was not worthy to be in front of a group. He didn’t win and I am not perfect but God gave me a story to tell. It’s not a pretty one but I got through it.

Londa and I had spoken after Shane’s service about practical ways the church can better serve a widow or widower from the very start and she decided she would like for all women to hear about it at the event.  I tried to spit the truth about my ups and downs with the process so far. I do not mince words with God. He knows how much I have hated many things that have happened, but if I could help even one lady to know that it is possible to survive even the unthinkable then it was worth it!

I had the opportunity to tell about the most horrific night of my life and I had rehearsed it in my head so many times that it went fairly well. What I had not prepared myself for was walking into the same sanctuary that we used for Shane’s service. It was graciously offered to us by First Baptist Owasso because we go to Life Church and we just were not sure there would be room. We packed the place that beautiful Spring day. I walked in to find my seat that evening and was punched right in the gut with those undeniable feelings of grief. I could picture the boys and I walking across the front. I went back into the hallway and my phone was ringing. It was my friend Lindsey assuring me that she was praying and might be a little late but would be there. Perfect timing. I told her what was happening and was able to talk through it.

It was my turn. Londa asked me some questions after I shared the initial reason I was qualified to be there as a woman who had survived trauma. There was laughter, a fist pump from Sarah at the back of the room that I could see from the stage, and there was another table of my family right up front. I know that Shane was honored and the reality of life as a solo parent was brought to light to many. My biggest advice: DON’T JUDGE. We all grieve differently and none of us are perfect parents! Be there for people no matter what they are going through. Be still. Listen. Offer a kind word through text when someone falls on your heart.

One of the other women who spoke talked about keeping your circle small. I almost thought that was contradictory at first considering we were in a room of hundreds of women, but I GET IT!! I have had a few hard relationship realizations since losing Shane. Some people want to keep you close to know your business and not because they want to help you. It’s ok to be choosy. I loved the whole thing! I would probably even do it again. I actually had more to say but I believe I am a little more organized in my written thoughts. LOL! #rambleon

Since then I have had so many questions about my notebooks. I carried them with me like a security blanket. They are dear to my heart, as they hold many secrets! They keep me organized and sane.

I decided to reach out to the companies that created such amazing products and see if I could offer my friends any discounts because I wanted to share the details of their goodness!! THEY ALL RESPONDED and I felt like a real mom blogger all of the sudden!!

So, just in time for Christmas wish lists to your hubbies, whomever drew your name, secret santas, or just buy something for yourself! You won’t be disappointed!!!

Chic Sparrow – My delicious Mr. Darcy in Buttered Rum. He has been a true friend in times of trouble and inspired moments. The leather is divine!! I can’t thank my friend Jenny enough for introducing this company to me! She is a devoted customer and does the coolest thing which is to have several notebooks for a variety of reasons, such as a quick daily diary for her son to have when he’s grown tucked away in one of their smaller notebooks. The sizes and insert descriptions are best viewed here. Please go to their website and admire their work! “Jennifer Harvey, the owner,  is happy to offer a 10% discount code on your behalf to share on your blog. The code will be valid for 1 year starting today and can be used one-time per customer.” – Olga, Chic Sparrow customer service. Please enjoy the code: Luv10 

May Designs –  I have enjoyed this site so much for many years. Again, my paper loving friend, Jenny got me my first May Book ever for Christmas one year. I enjoy so many things, but mostly the easy customization of these beauties!! I LOVE the Prayer and Gratitude Journal, the calendar choices, a notebook with dotted pages, a notebook with graphed lined pages…y’all, I love them all!! There are so many other great gift ideas from pregnancy journals to meal planners. My favorite is the quality and design choices (even for the Holidays)! This company has been featured on Good Morning American, in Real Simple, and is in Birch Boxes nationwide…even one of Oprah’s Favorite Things!!!  ‘It makes my heart happy that some simple little notebooks helped you through some difficult times.’ -Mica May, CEO
They have an amazing 40% off!! deal going on site wide for Black Friday through 11/27. After that expires, you can use the code: JUSTMEANDMYBOYS from 11/27-12/10 for 25% off on Notebooks! *you cannot stack discounts

Little Mountain Bindery – I am a little newer to the LMB fan club, as I was gifted one last spring for my teacher of the year gift from my school. My colleagues thought it hilarious that some people choose jewelry as their gift and I got more school supplies. It is yummy!! The soft leather and beautiful detail is rich. I love that it is made right across the Okie border in Arkansas. A small bindery that repairs bibles and vintage books. I have the Classic Brown Fillion with red cord. ‘It makes me so happy to hear that you love your Fillion and that it helps you in day-to-day life.’ – Lesha Shaver                                      By using this link, you can get 20% off any order from now through December 31, 2018. Or just use FARLEY20 at checkout!!

Ok, I was FANGIRLING over and over receiving these emails! I always tell my students to never be afraid to tell someone how much you love a product! It is important for us to appreciate the businesses that make us happy and more efficient citizens. My heart is full this Thanksgiving and I know Shane is grinning from ear to ear in delight at my joy!46283520_10218319475200239_1406282518751084544_o

Published by jjofarley

Mother of 3 handsome boys, we lost our main man suddenly on April 27th, 2015. We are grace-filled believers that are a walking example of God's love. I teach 7th graders STEM and chase these boys to every sports field I can!

2 thoughts on “Thanks be!

  1. Dear Jen,
    I’m so thankful for you. I’m thankful that God brought us together years ago. Thank you for following God and sharing with others. You have encouraged and challenged me. God is using your story in amazing ways!
    Love you!


  2. Jen,
    You amaze me! You strength and courage blows me away. I love to hear your story and how when you rely on God, you can conquer anything. Thank you for sharing your story. You are truly a testimony of what God can do through trusting in Him. 💜

    From Angela Holler


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